When nothing else will reach a child in trouble the best chance we have is to build a relationship. It is slow work, and so easily destroyed. This is the reason I chose Choice Theory. It teaches us not threaten, judge, make comments, use power-over, talk about a child to anyone else, make promises you can't keep, call names, call someone out in front of others, point your finger, tell a lie (even a white lie), or order someone around.
You may be wondering what is left to say! The amazing thing is that what you have is such a more honest relationship. You can skip all the emotional rollercoaster and get to meaningful thoughts and words. The reason we don't naturally do this is because our culture is steeped in "one-up-man-ship", not honesty good will and humbleness.
How do you accomplish this lifestyle? PRACTICE. And remember, the key is that it becomes a lifestyle. As a matter of fact, I am still practising.