Before we go over the making of rules, let's think about the difference between punishment and consequences. Punishment depends on the whim of the punisher. The rules are made by the adult in charge, and enforced by the adult in charge. Sometimes the punishment is "Go to your room," and sometimes for the same infraction it may be a spanking, and sometimes it may be getting yelled at. Dr. Glasser said it is true that sometimes punishment does work as far as the behavior goes, but the question we need to ask is how does it support the relationship between the punisher and the punished?
Rules with consequences, made by the family unit, and supporting growth, personal values, and building the three main rules of Safety, Respect and Do Your Job lend a whole different feeling in the house. These rules have no room for a bad temper, judgement, name-calling, blame, or excuses.
When a rule is broken, the child knows what is wrong and what needs to be done to fix it. It is much easier to just ask the question, "What do you need to do to fix the problem?" and let the child learn how to take responsibility for behavior choices and how to make things better.
So, again, that last suggestion on the list for making a successful foster family is this: Make a sane list of rules that foster the behaviors of Safety, Respect, and Do Your Job. Make it with the whole family, review the list often, talk about what makes up the three entities, and avoid judgement, name-calling, blame and excuses.