Our job becomes one of building relationships of trust and respect through this difficulty. The first thing we need to is teach the 5 Needs, what they are, how they work, where they are in each life. Next we need to move to the 4 parts of behavior, and what they mean in each life.
The more we talk about these things the more opportunity we have to build up a child and give them a way to restructure their life for the positive. The most important thing is to refrain from judgement because that is seen as criticism and will ruin every thing you have tried to do.
While teaching and demonstrating the needs and parts of behavior our part is to live the 7 caring habits. I know it may sound like "keeping your nose to the grindstone, and then work that way." The truth is that the adults who start out to help kids have to be willing to change in order to do what they said they wanted to do. The good news is, we are all on the same path and support and encourage each other.