I went to our psychiatrist and he said if he could he would diagnose her with "faulty wiring". It wasn't really funny, but our reality.
I went to Dr. Glasser, and he helped me put a better perspective on the situation. He said he believed Ella was born with this condition, and as such would need both medication and a therapeutic living environment.
We began choice theory when she was a toddler. For example, Jim has always let the grandchildren shave with him in the morning. He lathers them all up and they shave it all off with a play razor. With Ella, (as with everything she did), it was a battle. The bathroom was quite small, and she would stand on the top of the scale, slip off, and spill the dog's water and food. So there she was, yet again, standing on the bubble of the scale. Jim asked, "Ella, What's going to happen if you stand on the scale?" "I will fall," she answered. And she did. She shrugged her shoulders, and said, "Oh tay, I take 'ponsibility" This kind of dialogue made it possible for her to learn and understand choices.
When she was four years old we found a somewhat helpful medication routine that helped her be more receptive learning and loving.
More tomorrow.