Caring, Supporting, Listening, Encouraging, Trusting, Accepting and Negotiating All Differences.
Here is how they work: if at least one person in a contentious relationship uses these behaviors it will be difficult for the other person to continue the seven disconnecting behaviors. Here are the seven disconnecting habits:
Criticizing, Nagging, Threatening, Blaming, Complaining, Punishing, and Rewarding to Control (Bribing).
Dr. Glasser teaches that of all seven, the most destructive is criticizing. It is true that it is impossible for a happy, rewarding relationship to grow under these destructive behaviors.
At Atkinson Family Services, we work hard at eliminating criticism, blame, and external control, and practice problem-solving. One of the first things we have to work on is the idea of, "If she will, I will," because you could choose to choose positive even if the other person doesn't. This means that it doesn't matter who "started it," who was a "snitch," or who hit who. It only matters that there is unhappiness in the family or relationship, and the only way to ease the bad feelings and restore peace is to solve the problem. We work on taking the sting out of admitting you were wrong, taking responsibility for bad choices, and showing how to get your power need met without offending others.
Even very small children can be taught how to do this, as well as angry teenagers and adults, and