"Ella, is there a way you can visit Mommy and not throw fits when you come home?"
"Yes, Grandma, I will try."
"When will you try, Ella?"
"The next time I see Mommy."
Sometimes the kids didn't want to do their chores (imagine!). I would say, "Who is responsible for this chore?"
Child: "Me, but I don't want to do it."
"Since you have no privileges until you complete your responsibilities, when do you think you will feel like doing your chore?"
"In a few minutes"
"Could you be a little more specific about the few minutes, so I could plan my time?"
"OK, I'll do my chore now. Can I watch TV when I am done?" "
"Whatever is the rule, that is what you can do."
When everyone knows the rules, there are less questions. With someone like Ella, there will always be the questions; however, there will be less when you refer to what is known.
Think of times you can add clarity to your family times by using the word, "When"