For example, your child wants to go play somewhere you are not familiar with, and with friends you do not know. How will you handle this without a major blow up? I start with, "Have you completed your chores?" (My children know not to approach me until their things are in order.) When that issue is settled, I ask the necessary when and where questions, then I ask how and when will we meet your friends.
Sometimes things go well, the child makes a plan, and we go about making it work. However, sometimes the child starts yelling, blaming, saying things like, "Why are you always in my business?" "I'm old enough to go where I want." "I don't need you to tell me what I can do". This is where I ask the question, "What's my job?" Sometimes the child answers and sometimes she pretends like she doesn't hear me. Eventually she says, "My safety." "Right", I say. "Can you see how, knowing my job, your proposal doesn't work for me?" "Is there a way we can work this out because I really want you to be able to go with your friends, I just need to know you will be safe." When it is a foster child you are working with, especially one who has had several placements, it takes a while to believe someone has their safety in mind.
Working on the House Rules each day really helps make a peaceful household, because everyone has an understanding of how the rules are generated and how negotiation works.